The Busy B's: Going it Alone

After having my husband gone for eleven days for a mission trip to Mexico, I have a much greater appreciation for single parents, whether permanently or temporarily so. I also have a better understanding of just how much emotionally I depend on my husband for support when it comes to raising our children.

When Travis first told me he wanted to go on this mission trip, I was all for it. However, after thinking about it--me...alone with two kids...for over a week--yeah, I got a little nervous; but hey, I've done it for a few days before so no problem! I've got this! That thought lasted for only the first couple of days...

Travis left on a Saturday before the kids woke up. I was thankful that Owen had a birthday party to attend for a school friend and Addyson had kindly been invited as well. I figured this would take the kids' minds off of missing their daddy.

I spent a couple of hours chasing kids, trying to keep them relatively clean and out of trouble. They had a blast and came home with some great works of art.

*Apparently, painting your hand is part of the process*

We made it through the first day without the kids melting because daddy was gone. They asked a few times that first day where he was. I only had to tell them a few times that he was in Mexico, which is very far away, before they remembered. Addy then liked to share her daddy's location with random strangers, telling them in a store as they walked by, "My daddy's in Messico!" We had to nip that in the bud pretty quickly.

By day three it was getting a little harder to do this parenting thing by myself as the kids were using it to their advantage. They both fought me more on things like getting ready, getting in the car, going to bed, etc. I found bribery worked best during this time. The kids earned a lot more treats and television time that week and a half than they have in a long time.

I think the mornings were the times I missed Travis the most, as far as needing help. He always gets a shower before I wake up and then goes downstairs to start the coffee brewing. While I'm getting ready, he makes the kids' breakfast, makes Owen's lunch and packs his bag, and watches the kids. When Travis was gone, I had to wake up earlier so that the kids would not be left to run around the house by themselves. Travis also takes Owen to school in the morning so that Addy and I are not in the car half the day. Mornings were rough, to say the least.

We still managed to squeeze in some fun while daddy was gone and keep to our schedules--Owen still had school and I still had to work my job and do some of Travis' job. Addy and I went on a couple of donut and coffee dates while Owen was in school, and we all went to the airport for a couple of hours to watch the planes take off and land.

*Donuts!*

*At the airport watching the planes*

*Love this kid!*

Bedtime was interesting, too. The kiddos had some sweet moments, like when Owen wanted to read Addy her bedtime story, and some, uh, "challenging" moments, like when Owen locked us in Addy's room at bedtime. We have the doorknob turned around on Addy's door to lock it from the outside instead of using child-lock devices. Owen turned the lock on the door and then closed it after we were inside the room.

When he first told me we were locked in, I just laughed. I didn't think he was serious. When he reassured me he was not kidding was when I started trying to channel my inner McGyver to get us out of the room. Being a toddler's room, there was nothing sharp or pointy to use. The only thing I had on me was my phone, which I seriously considered calling a locksmith to pick the lock on the front door so he could come upstairs to let us out of a room instead of get us into somewhere.

I ended up bending the lampshade to pick the lock on the door. I worked for over forty-five minutes to get us out of that room. Meanwhile, both kids were just playing with toys, completely oblivious to the fact that we could all be sleeping in the same bed that night and they would be wearing Addy's diapers until we could get out. I even contemplated jumping out the window to get in the house through the front door, but I still would have to get through a locked door. It was starting to get a little crazy in my head there for a bit. Luckily, my lampshade break-out worked!

Travis was supposed to come back on Monday, but due to bad weather through a connecting flight, their flight was cancelled. They couldn't get back until the next day. Of course. However, we all made it alive and mostly unscathed.

Did I mention that a few days before Travis left we put our house on the market? And I decided to potty train Addy while Travis was away. Yeah, I'm crazy. Thankfully, my parents were able to come for a few days to help me out. While they were here, we had six showings on the house. It is hard enough to keep a house clean on a normal day, but to keep one clean, ready to show...phew!

After my parents left, we had two more showings. Owen is actually pretty excited to move somewhere new. He often will see a house when we're driving somewhere and will ask if we can buy it, whether it's for sale or not. He is four now and this next house will be his fifth house to live in since he was born. I am done with this moving thing. We plan to stay put for a long time at the next house. Hopefully.

I had some wonderful friends who thought of us while Travis was away. At the beginning of the week a sweet friend sent me a gift card for Starbucks. Coffee was a must that week and the gesture was such a lift to my spirits and an encouragement. Another friend met me for coffee one morning after I dropped Owen off at school. Another friend dropped off dinner one night before Travis came home. I was having a rough day, and without knowing how rough, she brought food so that I didn't have to cook that night.

Owen did develop some separation anxiety while Travis was gone. He had a harder time being dropped off at school or church, struggled in school a bit that week with paying attention and obeying, and started coming to my room in the middle of the night to crawl in bed with me. He is still coming to our room almost every night now, but other than that he is pretty much getting over his separation anxiety.

While those eleven days were not easy, and actually extremely difficult at times, God knew what I would need that week of going it alone with the kids. He sent friends, parents, and words and actions of encouragement and support. Of course, I realize now I was never alone.